To Fly or Not to Fly? (Hint: Always Fly)

Catherine and Everett

It’s no secret since last February, I’ve become addicted to Flywheel, the amazing stationary bike studio that offers a truly kick ass workout, but so much more. For me, it’s helped center myself, helped blow off the steam and stresses of life, work, family. It is also so damn fun. I liken it to going to Roscoe’s for an evening on dancing. But instead of getting a G&T spilled on me, I’m drenched because I’m sweating about 800+ calories over a 45 minute ride. Whether riding with Everett, Donna, Michael, Erin, Alicia, April or any of the amazing instructors, it is always the best part of my day when I’m on the bike.

What started as me going once or twice a week has evolved to going as many as 6-7 times a week. Honestly, if I had the time, I’d go every-sing-mother-fucking-day. That’s not an option, but I make every effort to be there as often as I can.

Imagine my delight when Flywheel opened their new studio in Old Town. The only complaint I have is that it’s a bit of a hike from my house (downtown Chicago). So I knew I’d love Old Town’s closer proximity- but when I arrived and saw how BEAUTIFUL the studio was, I was through the moon. Don’t get me wrong, my heart will always be loyal to Gold Coast, but love the new options.

Anyway, I digress. If you’re in Chicago and want to have the best 45 minutes of your day for a ride- sign up here: http://flywhl.me/ce5h The first ride is free and you will never regret it.

#NeverCoast

Family Balance Tips from Road Warrior: Peter Shankman

As a photographer who works for clients all over the world, let alone country, my husband can officially call himself a Road Warrior. Actually, that’s been the case for a long time, but it’s taken me a while to wrap my brain around (and embrace) the fact that I’m the wife to such a warrior. Mainly because when he’s gone, I’ve still got to keep up with my busy schedule, the kids’ schedules all on my own. It was always easier to take the ostrich-head-in-the-sand approach when he was traveling vs. facing it head on and coming up with a routine to support it.  But as his travel has increased, and as the boys get older and bigger, I’ve learned to accept it and come up with some strategies to get us through it sane when all’s said and done.

In addition to coming up with my own ways to deal with being a temporary single parent at times, I also look to other couples/individuals in similar situations. There’s a lot I can learn and let’s be honest, it also helps to know I’m not the only one out there doing it. Far from it.

One such example is my friend, Peter Shankman, whose daughter is almost a year, and whose wife is also an incredibly successful professional (at an agency, no less). Peter is either flying on planes for work, or jumping out of them for fun. I think the term Road Warrior has his photo next to the definition when you look it up.

So I recently asked Peter and his lovely wife, Kira, how they keep their lives sane while both growing careers , their mileage counts and raising a beautiful daughter. Here’s what they had to say:

Photo from: facebook.com/PeterShankman

CM: How often do you, Peter and Kira, travel for work alone while the other stays home?

PS: I travel constantly. When Kira travels (infrequently) I don’t.

CM: How often do you guys travel together for fun as a family?

PS: We haven’t yet. First trip planned for this summer.

CM: What is a typical routine when you’re all home together in the evening?

PS: We try and cook/eat together several times a week when I’m home. It’s wonderful, and I really value the time. We put our devices away and enjoy each other. <CM note- LOVE this…and we do the same. Put the phone away when the family is together>

CM: What is the routine when Peter is traveling and you’re home alone with Jessa, Kira?

PS: Kira tends to order in. 🙂 <CM note- Guilty of the same!>

CM: What are the best resources (can be from a nanny to a teething ring!) you’ve come across to get through when you’re on single parent duty?

PS; Google. 🙂 Also “Violet” – a doll that learns Jessa’s name. She’ll play with it forever.

CM: What is the most difficult part when you’re home alone? What’s the nicest part when you’re home alone?

PS: When I’m home alone, I love just playing with her. Not worried that my wife is going to say “she just ate, don’t spin her around,” etc. I just have fun with her.

CM: What advice do you have for other working parents who are often on single-duty with a business traveling spouse?

PS: FaceTime and Skype. Make sure the kid sees you at least once a day. <CM note- great tip- Facetime is a must!>

CM: Have you made any major changes, either Peter or Kira, in your work schedules since Jessa arrived?

PS: I rarely go out at night anymore during the week – But to be honest, that’s my choice. When I’m home, I like being home with my family.

CM: Do you plan to make any changes in the future as Jessa gets older?

PS: We’ll probably be able to stop buying diapers and formula. 🙂

CM: Thank you, Peter!

The Vacation State of Mind

There are few things you can count on in life, right? Death, taxes…and for working moms, I’d say, the need for eye cream. Or a nap. Or glass of wine. But I digress. Lately, I’ve been wrapping my brain around the fact that there is no (or little) certaintly in this wild, crazy life we live, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s about adjusting and shifting expectations. Going with the flow. Did I mention wine?

I bring this up because we had the most lovely family vacation and part of why it was so nice was because my husband and I both really brought our A-Game in being chillax. I hate that word. But it’s what we were. Calm. Cool. Collected. And not only did it rub off on us, but it rubbed off on the kids. They could immediately sense that we were calmer, more relaxed and enjoying ourselves. So guess what? So were they.

We’ve been back a couple weeks now, but I’ve been applying a vacation-state-of-mind since we’ve been home and it’s still working. Kids aren’t going to bed in time? Meh. They’ll be tired and have to take a nap the next day. Not a biggie. Laundry’s not folded? Meh. Who’s going to blame me for wrinkled clothes. You get the idea.

So here’s hoping I can keep this vacation state of mind until our next escape!

My Time on Katie’s Couch

Catherine Merritt and Katie Couric

I had the pleasure of being a guest on The Katie show last week and shared the stage with two true working mom mentors, Katie Couric and Carol Evans. The segment centered around a recent study from Working Mother Research Institute about bread winning moms and the implications that role has on families and couples alike. It’s a subject I’m very passionate about, less the bread winning piece, but more about the empowerment of moms to stay in the workforce. It’s a hard decision that everyone needs to make on their own (and let’s be honest, it’s often not even a decision people have a luxury to decide) but I feel that if moms are furthering their careers, how can they feel as supported as possible while doing it? But I digress.

The whole experience of being on the show was somewhat surreal, in a good way. By nature of what I do for work, it was a funny feeling being on the receiving end of all the logistics and details. The production team at The Katie show (shout outs to Kelly and Bianca!) were superb and made me and Ian feel right at home each step along the way. By the time our segment was about to tape, we took our seats, the crowd was warmed up, and away we went.

Katie and Carol discussed the findings from the survey and those implications on families and couples with breadwinning moms. And then they shot to us, asking me and Ian questions about our own experiences. In addition to me speaking about my career, I was really happy Katie asked Ian a few questions about his own risk in starting his own business. If I’m proud of my own career I’m equally proud of his bravery to start IDM Photography.

The episode airs on March 6^th, so I don’t want to spill the beans (aaaaaand, let’s be honest, I have no recollection to what I even said!) but it was a very compelling conversation and the points we discussed both hit home at our house and I assume others. I hope the takeaway is that the key to any relationship (let alone a breadwinning relationship) is making it a priority, communicating and sharing the load. Easy peasy, right? Ha. It’s hard. Really hard. But it’s worth it.

Be sure to tune in on March 6^th and once it airs, I’ll dish a little more about some additional insights from the entire experience and our conversation with Katie after the show. It was juicy! 

The Universe is Listening

They say if you want something to happen, you need to put it out into the universe.

A few weeks ago I was talking to my youngest sister about how passionate I am about empowering moms within the workforce. Creating environments and mentalities where moms can feel like they can have their careers and raise their families, too. I have never been happier at a job than I am in my current role, and one of the things I love most is their encouragement for me to raise my family while delivering stellar work. No one micromanages or notices (or cares) that I have to leave at 5 because there’s a trust that at the end of the day, I’m not there to punch an time card but to get the job done. And I do.

So back to the universe.

No less than a few days after I was talking to my sister, I was on a Facebook discussion about being a working mom. And that lead to being contacted by an ABC World News producer, which included a quote and my photo in a segment. That led to a Google Hangout with the editor of AOL Jobs and the editorial director or Working Mother Media. And this has all led to my latest adventure, to be on Katie Couric’s show this coming Thursday! Ian and I are flying out to NYC on Wednesday and will be on her show Thursday to talk about the trials and tribulations of being (and being married to) a working mom/wife. Now on to childcare/carpool/scheduling logistics, joy, rapture… J

Wish me luck- I’m very excited and nervous!

Secret weapon: night serum & eye cream

In the journey of motherhood most things tend to be out of your control. You enter into it with little to no idea of how it’s going to be and that pretty much sets the tone for life as you know it from that point on.

With Teddy about to turn four and Archie and almost a year and a half, I still feel like I’m learning as I’m going, every single day.

That said, I have been taking steps to figure out how to regain control in other aspects of my life. For instance, going to the gym to clear my head. Another priority: investing in skincare is one of the few luxuries I allow myself. Getting older is part of the deal but it’s important to keep skin cared for in addition to mind and body.

Today was fun because I bought a new line of Estée Lauder products I can’t wait to try.

And I know I’m not to get eight hours of sleep every night but here’s hoping that my skin makes me look like I did. And thank God for Starbucks to make my body feel like I did.

AOL Jobs & Working Mother Media Hangout

I was part of Google Hangout yesterday about working moms and it was a pleasure. I am so passionate about this subject so it was an exciting and motivating conversation. Please check it out.

One key to sanity

I made the promise to myself in January to go to the gym more. Not as a resolution to shed some pounds, per say, but a commitment to spend more time on my well being, both physically and mentally. I can’t tell you what a difference it’s made.

When you are stressed, sad, mad, tired: run for 30 minutes. I promise it will help.

And now for my reward for a good workout: STEAM ROOM. This is also good for the souls.

Happy Saturday.

My loves

Indulge me if you will… On this day of love, how loved I feel. I have these two boys, an active, imaginative, dinosaur-loving Teddy, who always pauses even in the midst of his most active moments to cup my face and tell me: “I love you, Mommy.” And Archie, who has more humor, personality and happiness in his 1.5yo body than most adults I have ever met. And my husband, who always responds with “Yes!” and true encouragement, excitement and enthusiasm for whatever I throw at him. Life is crazy and hard and chaotic but it’s also happy and joy filled and wonderful. How lucky I am and I work everyday to never forget it.

Thankful

This Thanksgiving I am grateful for:

Boys. Specifically, my three boys. For Ian, my husband, best friend, partner and support. Almost nine years later my love for and with him continues to grow. For Teddy who has an endless supply of energy but can pause and be calm to help his brother. For Archie and his inability to not smile and true appreciation for life’s finer joys, like pancakes and quiche. And for Monte, the world’s most patient, protective and sweet pooch.

Girls. Mainly, my sisters who are in town for Thanksgiving. We have grown up into dear friends and they both inspire me and make me laugh harder than anyone.

Parents. Mama and Papa. Beth and Edd. I love my parents and all they do for our family. And I am grateful our family is in a good place for being happy and healthy. I will not take that for granted. And for Beth and Edd, the greatest in-laws I could have hoped for. And that all of them make for such wonderful grandparents (and squid) to Teddy and Archie.

Work. I have a job that I love going to every day. The people I work with, the business I work on, the challenges and solutions I address and the things I’m encouraged to grow- I feel so lucky to be part of my company and the teams I’m on.

Friends. I have some of the most amazing friends, some who I’ve know almost 30 years and others that are newer. I have friends that make me desperately wish I had more time to see them, but never make me feel bad when it’s been a long time in between visits.

Other stuff. We have a great house. We eat delicious and healthful food. We have a wonderful nanny who cares for Archie. Teddy goes to a terrific preschool where he is loved and cared for. And I am thankful to keep working on not placing some of the smaller “others” in my life above what is really important.

Wishing everyone a healthy, happy, meaningful and delicious Thanksgiving.